An Interview with Rammel Hawking 5

A Conversation (Intervention) with Rammel Hawking

me: Sir Hawking, it’s such a pleasure to get to interview you in person.

Ram: (third finger)

me: (sigh) Okay. What is this about?

Ram: Well, forgive me if I do no’ sound polite, but I can no’ say ’tis a pleasure bein’ interviewed by you.

me: Why not?

Ram: Why no’ indeed. I only agreed because of the chance to say fuck you in person.

me: Okay. What exactly is the problem? You did end up with everything you ever wanted, didn’t you?

Ram: Aye. No’ denyin’ that. My problem is not with endin’s. ‘Tis with the bloody well fucked up middles.

me: I see.

Ram: No. You do no’ see. You sit there in your tidy, little, safe, air conditioned version of reality without a single bloody care for what you are puttin’  me through. Have you ever had a broken rib? It hurts! Do you know that?

me: Well, I…

Ram: You write like ’tis nothin’. And ’tis nothin’ compared to a concussion and a hundred and forty three stitches. How would you like to have to face your mother lookin’ like that?

me: Um, that doesn’t happen until Book Two, The Witch’s Dream which was just released today.

Ram: So just because they have no’ read about it yet means it did no’ happen? (chuffs) My mother cried for hours when she saw me lookin’ like this. That was a bloody fun time I can tell you.

me: I’m, uh, sorry. I didn’t realize she would take it so hard…

Ram: Come to think of it, I should have brought her with me. (evil smile)

And what about that bit between me and my da – when he asks how the other fella looks? And you make me say the other fella got away with no’ so much as a scratch? To add insult to injury you made me smile while I said it! So then he asks me to explain how it happened and I have to tell the fuck all, king da’ of Elfdom that I got a hundred and forty three stitches in a knife fight in a bar!

me: (sigh) I admit that was an understatement but, technically, it was true. You did sustain your injuries in a knife fight in a bar.

Ram: (gaping) You are cold as Paddy’s feet on a February morn.

me:  Now wait a minute…

Ram: Just gettin’ started.  

me: Oh here we go. (Muttering to myself at this point.)

Ram: Can you even begin to imagine that three months feels like an eternity when you’re an elf waitin’ on his mate to make up her mind?

me: Well, I have a pretty good imagination…

Ram: Oh? You can imagine how it feels to have a ragin’ cockstand for weeks on end that does no’ even wane when you sleep? Balls achin’ like they’re bein’ squeezed. Just how is it exactly that you can imagine that, Mistress? How about this one? Can you imagine how it feels to wake and find your love lookin’ back at you with vampire blues? Let me tell you how it feels. Your insides go completely cold. When that chemical hits the bloodstream it truly does feel like ice in your veins.

me: I’m sure that was a very unpleasant experience…

Ram: Unpleasant? You really are a stonehearted bitch. I feel like kickin’ the legs out from under your chair.

 me: (Trying not to laugh.) I was feeling really bad for you, and a little guilty, right up until you just threatened to dump me on my can. Which was very un-knight-like behavior. I never would have written you that way.

Ram: Oh no? Well, I have a surprise or two and here’s the first. You’re fired.  

me: You can’t fire me, Ram. I’m the Creator.

Ram: You know, you sounded just like her when you said that. ‘Tis very disconcertin’.

me: Well, you know there’s probably something of me in every one of the characters.  

Ram: Characters, is it? “Tis all we are to you? (Looks like his feelings are hurt then curses in Irish under his breath.) Right. Well, that explains a lot. You want to know who’s the real villain in your stupid stories?

me: I see where you’re going with this, but, Rammel, writing villains is not the same thing as being a villain. My stories are just a reflection of life.

Ram: (sneers) Aye. A House of Mirrors reflection.  

me: Well, yes. Otherwise, it’s called the daily news. How about this? I’ll give you a reprieve and visit the less pleasant stuff on somebody else for awhile.

Ram: You do no’ seem to be gettin’ it. ‘Tis no’ up to you anymore. Consider this an intervention. You’re hurtin’ people. ‘Tis goin’ to stop. 

me: Okay, look, everything you say is true, but you’ve left out the other side. And I really do love you. Probably more than any other of you, uh…

Ram: (narrows his eyes) …characters. I might be willin’ to let bygones go, but it works both ways.

me: What does?

Ram: I know what you’re thinkin’. I heard your twisted mind riflin’ through possibles and sortin’ out what you’re plannin’ to do to us in Book Three.

me: You did? (I swallow.)

Ram: Aye. And some of it ’tis nothin’ less than sick. We’re all thinkin’ perhaps ’tis time for you to see someone.

(My husband walked in just as I was concluding this interview. He asked what I was doing and, without really thinking it through, I made the mistake of telling him the truth after which he replied that he had always wondered how I can be content to be alone for extended periods of time only to find out that I only appeared to be by myself.)


  1. I would like to say what so many probably say way too often, but just wanted you (Victoria) to know so that my comments are viewed with this perspective. I never post comments. Well perhaps one time a few years ago, and by few, I mean about five. And that was a singular event. Which leads me to state that reading your first book, my Familiar Stranger, was also a very singular event, for me. The writing style was different than most books and I truly was not sure if I liked it. It seemed to place the “third person” persona at a distance from the characters. But I soon became accustomed to it, and then began to love it. Why? Not sure, but instead of keeping me at a distance, it actually drew me in closer. And it was refreshing to find someone who could not only marry so many genres together but could maintain that throughout the book. It was also refreshing to find a heroine who was not only strong, but indeed, much stronger than her male counterparts. But, it did Not…no, no, no, make them weaker then her. Amazingly adept. I wish I could write so well. Even half. You have created a niche all your own that helps to wash out some of the after taste of too many authors trudging down the well worn Twilight path. Not to say that some of these authors don’t do a fine job of writing, but that yours was simply brilliant. My congratulations to you on this first book. I am late to the after party so must do some catching up on greeting your additional books in this serious. I had somehow missed this book when it was first published and now find myself with five more to read (as of this posting). Yummy. I believe I shall go fix myself a cup of hot chocolate to sip before dropping into the second book of this new world you have created. Well done, well done!

    • Dear Terry –

      When it comes to encouraging me, there simply isn’t such a thing as “too often”. In fact, your comments are unique and may have given me some insight into why I seem to be shaping up as a love her or hate her author. I want to be sure that I give you credit for giving the book an honest chance to win you over even though you were put off at first. I think this brings into clarity one of the reasons why I sometimes get reader reviews that seem overly harsh – almost as if my writing style offended them in some say.

      I think that, for many people, the initial reaction to something different is distaste. Usually, a portion of those who react with negative reflex, will come to appreciate – maybe even love – the new and different thing if they allow themselves time to make a mental and emotional adjustment. I can talk about this without judgment because I can think of several times when I’ve been in that group. Happens frequently with music and fashion for instance.

      You’re right about the fact that it’s not unusual for me to get comments that say something like, “Wasn’t sure at first, but I’m SO glad I stuck with it.”

      I sincerely hope you enjoy the rest of the series. As I was writing the first book I was looking forward to the day when someone would discover Elora’s story at the point when several of the books were out. Please come back and let me know what you thought of the rest of it.

      – Victoria

      • Hello Victoria, thank you for your reply. I am happy to hear that you found my comments worthwhile and perhaps even enlightening. Writing a book is not as easy as some would think. It is a challenging undertaking especially as you are trying to tell a story while building a new world.

        I have just purchased the second book in the series and am looking forward to starting it. I love nothing more than to discover a book series in which several books in the series have already been published. I am ever impatient to see how the characters evolve and will be happy to keep you posted as I go through these novels.

        Your books are unique in that your heroine is not a weak woman who requires a macho over the top Alpha to complete her. That formula has worked successfully, I know, but if you want to be true to yourself, then you should write your characters as you seem them in your mind. I do not know how you could change your writing style to bring one closer to the characters. But I will say this. Although I initially felt distanced from the characters, as though viewing them through a telescope where emotions and personality are hard to decipher; as the book came ever closer to its end, you captured my interest in such a way, that without my even knowing it, I was right there with each and every one of them, witnessing their pain and their emotional upheavals, joyous and sad. That is a true gift. I hope in your next books, you will remain true to yourself and to your own writing style. I have not been touched by the plights of so many in a very long time, as though I personally know each and every one of them.

        Thank you,

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